Financial Turmoil

It's really hard being a Christian male and dealing with financial turmoil.

1) Being a male and dealing with financial turmoil:

There's something about being independent in every way that a single guy rests on in defining his manhood. We need to be out on our own to prove that we can do it. We need to get a job that pays the bills to prove that we are capable of providing, at least for ourselves. And there's the rebellious side of us (that we don't always want to admit) that says, "-I- did this, look what -I- have done for myself, no one else helped me get here, -I- can do it!"

So when you live paycheck to paycheck, your car runs out of gas, you've finished the last of the Ramen noodles and you go to your friend's apartment to sleep on their couch, it kinda wears hard on the soul.

2) Being a follower of Christ and dealing with financial turmoil:

Something about being down to my last penny, many times, has given me a perspective that adds to my heart for the poor. I cannot possibly claim poverty on the level of the rest of the world. The fact that I -own- a car, I sleep under a roof and have clothes to wear puts me in the minority percentage of the wealthy living on this planet. Having nothing (in relation to where I live) gives me a peek into the hearts and the condition that the poor and broken live day to day.

Its honestly a struggle. Financially, I'm down on my luck and it stresses me out to no ends and seriously can be depressing. As a human being, I think of myself and my condition and how miserable I am and the bleakness of my situation. But then I think about the condition of other people in the States and other people around the world who suffer far greater and far longer than I ever will. Its a test of my faith in God and my ability to trust that He is in control and that He is FAAAR greater than any problem that I may have.

This goes beyond monetary needs. I see it as a test in perseverance and my faith. I need to rely upon God whether I have a surplus of money or none at all, sick or in health, in chains or in freedom. I want to say that I'm glad that I'm going through this tough time, but I honestly cannot say that, because its not fun, its not comfortable and its hard. But I know that perseverance builds character and it builds faith in the One and Almighty God.

Praise God!

I'm in the mood to blog

A situation happened tonight that has prompted me to pray and think.

Love is hard.

I mean, I'm not married and I haven't really been in a "long-term" relationship, which seems to be enough qualification to some for me to not even speak on the topic.

But love goes beyond boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife. The heart of love is God. I don't want to sound all churchy, but dangit, that's the stinkin truth! We often hear 1 Corinthians 13 recited at wedding ceremonies, and honestly, it goes in one ear and out the other. But if we take a second to really, I mean -REALLY- look at what that book of the Bible is implying, it just isn't a passage about marriage, it's how we are to live with one another. It is HARD!

But would I want love to be easy? Do I want to live life on the surface? Do I want life to be comfortable? Not really. I want to work things out. I want to be real with people and love people through muck and mire. I want reconciliation and restoration.

I know that this blog isn't super theological, but it's 1:30 in the morning and I needed a vent to explain this hard truth that is on my heart that I know I struggle with everyday. How do I love today?

The Whisper

This is an illustration of an artist named Justin Gerard. To give him the props he deserves, you can contact him and view some of his work at his website.

He posted this illustration some time back on his blog and I instantly was inspired. When I do have the opportunity to write because of a muse, I jump on it. So I instantly wrote the first stanza to the poem below. I was somehow distracted and put the poem to the side for a while.

I came back to it from time to time, but I think I'm just about finished with it. So here is the poem, -nearly- completed.




"The Whisper" by Jamie Vance

The whisper lingered like a mother hushing her child to sleep
It's sweet connotation reveled deep within my heart, pulsing through my mind
It's ubiquitous strength would over power even Poseidon with trident in hand
O! to fully understand the pleasure!
To truly know the warmth of thy hand!

20,000 thoughts beleaguered my mind
When this conundrum bared its rhyme
200 knots had once held me down
>>> <<<

I found within my heart a treasure of beauty
a serendipitous bounty instilled
Created more precious than the rarest of pearls
A light to shine amongst the murk and mire

So I will rise, I will rise from my berth
to sing a song that even a siren could not silence
As fierce as Ahab and as mighty as Nemo
I will not remain silent, no!
For the whisper has spoken beauty,
fathoms within my heart

There is a line missing, as I marked, and another line that I'm not completely pleased with. When I finish it, completely, I would like to send this to Justin. So, I would like honest opinions and constructive criticism before I send it off to him! Let me know what you think!

Snippits of Heaven/Faith in God

There is something amazing about multi-cultural worship services. Last Sunday we had standing room only at Grace. During worship I stood in the back with a row of Romanian men to my left and right. Leading worship was a group called Trinity, a group of Dutch guys who were raised in Peru. In the congregation there were even more Romanians, Russians, French, Italians, Chinese, Filipinos, Africans, Scots and Irish. At one point the worship leader had the congregation sing a worship song in several of the represented languages, which was amazing!
People were dancing, people were laughing with joy, and not just within their ethic groups, but surrounded by different ethnicities and cultures. It truly was one of those moments when you have a foretaste of heaven. After the service, we had a barbeque at the church, which everyone participated in.

Saturday night I was told that I would be teaching the teenage Sunday school class. I was sort of taken by surprise because it was late on Saturday night and I didn’t have anything prepared, much less I didn’t even know the students. So what was I going to say? I prayed about it and decided that I wanted the students to get to know me before some American they didn’t know came in to start teaching them about God. So I decided to tell them my story, my testimony. There were about six teenagers in there, all of but maybe one being “luke-warm” or non-believers altogether.

I actually had a decent response from the students, perhaps because they could relate with me. I even managed to speak for half an hour without boring them! However, I can’t say this Sunday went as well as last. In fact, I was a bit discouraged and slightly embarrassed this Sunday. I prayed about what I was going to speak about and decided to teach on Luke 15, which is the Parable of Lost Sheep, Parable of the Lost Coin and the Parable of the Lost Son. I recently read a book by Tim Keller called “The Prodigal God” that broke down the Prodigal Son and brought to light an aspect of the story that isn’t preached often. I then heard a sermon by Matt Chandler that spoke on the same topic. So I was quite stoked about the Parable and decided to speak on it and ask the students some questions.

Despite my animated reading of Luke 15 (because no one wanted to help me read aloud), it came off boring to the students. And when I was teaching on the scripture, only half of the students were paying attention and one had popped in an ear-bud on one side of his head to listen to his mp3 player. Then, when I asked them the questions, absolutely no one wanted to answer even after I picked someone out specifically to give the question a go. Because of the lack of participation, I was finished 15 minutes early and there was silence. Even when I tried asking them about their week, no one spoke. So it was silent.

I really have a heart for these students and so it’s difficult to see them not even seeking God. I also think that I’ve realized that there just isn’t much that I can do in the lives of these students when I’m only here for such a short period of time. When there isn’t already a preexisting relationship or a desire from the students to seek God, two months is nothing. If I were here for a year, it would be a totally different story. However, I’m not giving up. I’m planning a game/movie night for the students where we will have pizza and just hang out. I mentioned it to them and they fairly interested.

Good news. It’s really interesting how this trip has become something quite different than what I expected (which is my next blog ;p). I knew that I was coming into this trip to have a Bible study with some of the Romanian guys I’ve mentioned before (Daniel, John and Dragosh). But what it has turned into is a one on one with Daniel, which has been really great. Daniel and I have had two Bible studies together, going through Paul’s letters. On top of that we’ve prayed for each other and encouraged each other. Specifically what I did not expect would happen is the opportunity I’ve had to coach Daniel in leadership and developing a small group of 20-somethings. Daniel has expressed his desire to have community with other people his age and grow closer to God with a Jesus family.

It’s funny how word travels around the church, but I’ve been approached a couple times by people within the church encouraging my efforts to develop the 20-something small group. People are excited, which is amazing. The church is really behind the growth and leadership of their brothers and sisters.
I think I’ll stop for now and write some more tomorrow.

In the Name of Love

A group of foreigners have come to live in the village, barely able to speak our language, but they offer to teach us English as they in turn learn our language. After we barely start to understand English, they offer us a book called the Bible. They teach us that God, sometimes they call Him 'Yahweh', is the creator of the universe and everything that we see. They explain that He sent His only begotten son to die for us, to take upon all of our evils in return for our redemption and purity, so that one day we may live with Him and His Father in paradise.
Some of the villagers are beginning to believe and some of us even witness miracles or have witnessed miracles before they came, but didn't understand truly what the miracles meant until now. I believe. But I don't fully understand. There are words that I don't understand and there are cultural references that are not relevant to ours. But we continue to learn, as do the foreigners.
We are beginning to be able to read the Bible!
The foreigners have learned our language well enough that they have created a written alphabet for our language and we are learning to read our OWN language! One elderly woman in the village who always had a frown on her face came rushing out of the schoolhouse with a face of ecstasy screaming, "I can read and write my OWN NAME! My OWN NAME!" No one had ever seen her like that. She has something to claim as her own that no one can take away!
A year has passed and I know Jesus better, but so many things are still difficult to understand because of the cultural barrier.
We just found out that our foreign brothers and sisters have translated Matthew, Mark, Luke and John into our own language! We understand now! We understand the holiness of Jesus Christ and that He was both man and God! We understand that because He loved us so much, that He died for each and every one of us! We understand what it means to love our neighbor and why we should love our neighbor, although that is definitely a hard command to follow sometimes!
Our foreign brothers and sisters are continually teaching us as we are teaching them. Oh how God can work in mysterious ways!

The Groves family is a family that visited our church here in Dublin that gave testimony of their mission work in Cameroon. I spoke to their two teenage boys during lunch and learned a lot about what they are doing. I met them about 2 1/2 weeks ago, but I was just reflecting on the significance of their missionary work. They have brought the word of God to a people who had previously never heard of Yahweh and didn't even have a written language! But now, the people they brought the Gospel to can understand the teachings of Christ in a way that is relevant to them! Lives have been changed for God! Dang, thats amazing!

Romanians

Last Thursday I met Daniel at Grace’s Bible trivia quiz fundraiser (proceeds went to missionaries in Cameroon by the way). Daniel is a 24 years old Romanian who came to Dublin in search for a job. I was really encouraged when I met him because; at least from my conversation with him, he seems to be a really solid believer. He shared with me his convictions about church and community and how they go hand in hand with each other. He seemed a little frustrated with the fact that it has proven difficult for him to get together a group of people around his age to hang out.

He explained to me the importance of having Christian community and also opening doors for non-believers to come into that community (or bringing that community to the non-believers). All these things, of course I completely agree with. The way Daniel was talking, he would fit into Harpeth very well. We didn’t have much time to talk because it was super late and he had to escort Diana, a pregnant Romanian woman (who invited me to their home for dinner some time!), to her house. However, in the time we did talk, Daniel and I brainstormed some different ideas for getting people together for fellowship. I encouraged him to keep it up and not to let down his efforts and that he should continue to offer up his own efforts to God in prayer. He seemed to be encouraged by this.

A group of Romanians, including Daniel, took me to have my first lamb kebab in Dublin after church on Sunday. It was completely delicious and they paid for it, only after I politely turned their offer down and then Daniel said it would be offensive to their culture if they did not pay for a guest. They all quickly laughed after it was paid for and told me that they were joking, but it was already done. I got to know them pretty well, which was a fantastic experience. After we finished lunch, Diana, the pregnant Romanian lady, invited me to come over to their house this Saturday to have a real Romanian meal with them. How could I say no?! However, I did have to cancel my plans to see Josh Ritter and Lisa Hannigan in Cork because it would have interfered, but I know I made the right choice (plus Lisa Hannigan is playing other shows in Ireland I’ll try to make!)

I’m excited for Daniel and his maturing leadership at Grace. I’m glad I get to be apart of his growth and see where God will take him.

Tomorrow (Tuesday) I am taking the train to Galway to see the Cliffs of Moher! I’m excited! It’s a 3 ½ hour ride, but the scenery is going to be brilliant! I’ll post more pictures when I get back!

First Post From Ireland

It's Saturday morning and I think I've finally gotten over jet-lag. Jet-lag is a strange phenomena, by the way, you get super tired at weird times of the day. Anyway, I've been in Ireland for two full days now, working on my third. It has actually been pretty chill so far, not a whole lot going on. I did, however, go outside of Dublin, slightly into the country, to a little farmhouse owned by one of the elders of Grace Bible Fellowship, his name is George and he kind of reminds me of the farmer from the movie "Babe". Very very wise and discerning man (he's about 70 or so). Pastor Pat, his wife Loretta and I went out there to meet with George, a Canadian missionary family and couple from Cameroon who translate Bibles. While the adults talked business, I opted to go with George's wife and the kids (Caleb 18, Sam 15 and their sister who's name I forgot 10) on a tour of their ancient farm. A couple of the buildings were built in the 1600's! I had a solid 3 hours to get to know the boys and they're great! Both want to continue in missionary work and obviously have a passion for the people of Cameroon.





I was talking to Pat yesterday about doing something like we do at Harpeth with the ATG kids on Sunday evenings; go to a park, bring some drinks and snacks and play games. Its not going to be that easy. I was hit with the harsh reality of a travesty in Irish culture when I heard on Irish news of a 2,500 page report that came out recently of child abuse within the Catholic church. Pat was telling me that Irish people are already a suspicious people but this report has only strengthened the distrust they have, not only for religious organizations, but for people in general. So I definitely can't just waltz into a park and offer sodas to kids and play futbol, which isn't how we did it at Harpeth, we had a preexisting contact with the community in Natchez. I'll have a better idea on Sunday of how many students attend the church and then I'll go from there.